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Ten Reasons Why I Never Wash!
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The pastor, apparently fed up with all the excuses given over the years as to why people don't go to church, included "Ten Reasons Why I Never Wash" in the Church  bulletin:
 
1. I was forced to as a child.
2. People who wash are hypocrites - they think they are cleaner than everybody else.
3. There are so many different kinds of soap, I can't decide which one is best.
4. I used to wash, but I got bored and stopped.
5. I wash only on special occasions, like Christmas and Easter.
6. None of my friends wash.
7. I'll start washing when I get older and dirtier.
8. I can't spare the time.
9. The bathroom is never warm enough in winter or cool enough in summer.
10. People who make soap are only after your money.